Blog-o-loague

Blog-0-loague: def: A combination of random thought, ideas and or questions written down for the pure enjoyment/therapy of the writer herself and not particularly entertaining for anyone else.

(I wrote that myself).

When I was little I used to love to cut out bits and pieces of the newspaper or magazines and glue them all over paper to make a coloague. I don't really have anything important to blog about, but a lot of random thoughts that I decided to get out of my head thus creating a blog-o-loague... Maybe, just maybe it will make me feel better while we continue to yearn for a court date.

- I love the days when I only check my e-mail 20 times instead of 40-50 times. OCD = ME

- This one is hard to admit so don't judge me: If my kids are on the computer and I want to check my e-mail, I give them a random errand to go do, slip in the chair log on and check to see if there is any new news on the forum, click out and escape unnoticed!

- "Patience is a virtue" was made up by someone with great patience!

- I am blessed to have great friends that forgive me when I am "in my stuff".

- In the adoption world never say "I know she will be home by..."

- Why does time seem to go soooooo sloooooow when you are waiting for something so exciting?

- Absence does make the heart grow fonder: I miss you Shane :) and Grace...

- Will Grace fit into all the clothes I have bought her by the time she gets home?

- Does the fact that I wake up every night 2-3 times as well as wake up at 5:00 or 5:30 am mean God is preparing me for a baby again, or just drinking too much water?

- Living vicariously through other people's adoption blogs cannot be healthy, yet I find it so healing right now.

- I love watching U-Tube adoption videos more than reading or watching regular TV right now. Great entertainment, wholesome, no commercials and they always make me cry (not too hard these days).

- Is it possible to study too much and share with your kids everything you have learned that day about the country and region their sister is from?

- Is it mean to then make them listen and get angry when they don't seem to care?

- Finally, is it sad that I had to look up the word "coloague"?

Hmmm there's a lot more but for now I will just chew on all of that!

A good day!

Today is a good day! Yesterday, not so great. I found out yesterday that Damot's file was not complete and that MOWA (Ministry of Womens Affairs) in Addis Ababa is requesting more information from the region that Damot is from. I was told that this could take up to one week to get and then we can be re-submitted for a court date. So for now I just keep breathing and as Shane keeps telling me "it's all in divine order"! Last night I told him to not tell me that one more time, but today and even last night in my heart I know he is right. He also told me last night that I am not the most patient person and that this was the "perfect" lesson for me. That hit me pretty hard because I knew it was true! Anyway, this morning my computer obsession took over again and on my way out the door to go to the gym I decided I would just take a peek at the adoption forum to see if there was any news on anything (I know it's crazy, I don't care anymore). Low and behold there was a post from a woman that is in Ethiopia waiting to pass court and loving on her baby at the care center. She left a tid bit of information about Damot that just made my day! She said: Damot is beautiful and delicate. She loves to smile and is sitting up. She loves to scoot in the walker and loves to throw toys out of her crib. She hates getting her nose wiped and went outside with one of the nannies yesterday. Doesn't that just bring a smile to your face. It does me :) :) :) :) Funny how the small things in life can make me happy! What a gift to have this information about this little soul we love so dearly. This will hold me over for a while...

I believe in miracles and believe that Damot's paperwork will come in very quickly and that a court date will be assigned sooner than anticipated :) That is my families prayer!

And So It Is!

Blah, Blah, Blah and a letter to Grace!

I have not felt like posting anything lately because I have been so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I decided today that I would post something in hopes of using this post as therapy for my weary soul. All of my other posts have been relatively upbeat and positive, keeping up with what the family is doing and how we are preparing for the arrival of Grace Damot McMillan. But as each day passes (81 to be exact), I find it harder and harder to keep a positive attitude. Our referral was given on August 20th and then courts closed. I expected, (that is where I went wrong) that shortly after courts re-opened on October 12th that a court date would soon follow...WRONG! I have continued to wait on pins and needles - literally - for the phone to ring and to hear those wonderful 5 words "You have a court date!". This wait has been one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced in my life. I know that sounds dramatic and it probably is, but it is the truth. I have seen her face, I adore her, I know her and I ache to hold her in my arms. Each day that passes I wonder if she is happy, does she know and feel her family sending her love from around the world? I have really learned a lot about prayer: 1. It is very powerful. 2. It is a direct connection and amazing form of communicating with my Heavenly Father. 3. It does bring peace in times of trial. 4. Prayers are not always answered in the way I want them. That's the kicker for me. I know there are so many beautiful and amazing lessons to be learned throughout this process, but learning that I get to trust that every thing is in divine order is not an easy one for me. Stubborn, YES I AM! Learning to be patient....hmmmm I hope so! So, with all of this blah, blah, blah being said I had someone suggest that I write a letter to Grace on my blog so that someday she will read it and know how much she was longed for, how much she was loved and how many amazing lessons were learned through the process of adopting her. So here goes:

My dearest Grace,

Right now you are far away sleeping peacefully in your crib. You have people who are caring for you, bathing you, feeding you and loving on you, for that I am grateful. The journey to bring you home has been one of so many different emotions, joy, gratitude, humility, frustration, peace and has brought your family so close together. We pray for you each morning and each night. You are never out of my thoughts. Your picture is posted throughout our home and so many people you may never even meet are sending you love. I miss you and I want you to know that you are a gift to this family and to this world. I know that there are so many beautiful things you are meant to accomplish in this lifetime and I am deeply honored to be a part of those things. I know you don't know it right now but someday when you read this I want you to be absolutely clear of one thing: YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE! You have in your short time on this earth already touched so many people and I can't wait to experience what you do with the rest of your life. What a gift to love you, what a gift you are, I love you with all of my heart and today I send you more love than you know what to do with. May the angels watch over you and keep you safe until the day that we finally meet...in person!

Love,

Your Mommy

I thought on the positive side I would give you a preview of Grace's room. It is at the 50% mark and really cute so far. I can't wait to finish it but mostly I can't wait until I look in there and see my little Gracie sleeping soundly in her freshly painted crib!