The McMillan Family Adventures...

Almost A Year!

2011-02-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

My goodness how time flies. Blogging has NOT been priority number one the past few months and I don't feel guilty about it because the truth is it was therapy for me, getting me through the hard adoption times and I just don't need the therapy anymore! Good News! But, I have been thinking so much about Ethiopia lately because it has been almost one year since I left to pick up Grace Demot. I thought taking some time to write a little about the wonderful life of Grace would be good for posterity sake. It truly seems like just yesterday we brought our precious Demot home to Utah. This past year has been one of many wonderful firsts for Grace Demot and wonderful reminders of the beauty and energy of toddlerhood for me. It truly brings tears to my eyes when I think about how blessed we are to have Grace Demot in our home and in our family. She just fits with us and better yet we seem to be ok with her too. When I think back to a year ago, I fondly think of paperwork being finalized, airline reservations, Yebsabi reservations, shots, shots and more shots, anixiety, tears, fears, joy, packing, collecting lots and lots of donations and so much more. If I could go back (which I never would) the only thing I would change about life before Grace would be that I would have not stressed so much about the things I had no control over. I learned and gained such a respect for patience. I know there will be more times in my life to exercise that patience but hopefully it won't be so darn hard. I sometimes wish I could go back to Ethiopia and visit the beautiful friends I made there. I think about Sister Almaz, Lelena, Hana and all of the nannies that were so humble and so kind. I learned so much about "stuff". How we have way to much "stuff" how so many have little to no "stuff" and being reminded of that is a good thing. I will never ever forget the first moment that I laid eyes (in person) on my little angel. The joy is inexplainable and I know that somehow, somewhere we had met before. The journal I kept while in Ethiopia reads: "I held her and loved on her and kissed her just like I had imagined. She was so beautiful with little brown pants and a little boy shirt. She was a bit unsure of me but as I kissed her forehead I thanked God for this miracle in my life". Grace continues to be such a gift. No matter where I go, people stop me to tell me how remarkably beautiful she is. There is a depth and spark in her brown eyes that melts peoples heart. She's quite a spitfire and knows exactly what she wants. She adores her brother Carter who has proven to be so much better at being the "big brother" than I gave him credit for. She is speaking two to three word sentences. She says Mom, Da Da, Carter to school, ba ba, NO, yes, please, thank-you, dance, she can name all parts of the face and some of the body, her laugh is to die for and boy can she dance. In the car she sings and sings and going "bye-bye" is her favorite thing. She pretty much runs wherever she goes and her skinny little legs can run really fast. We have taken her on several trips: Lake Powell, St. George several times and Mexico. She's been skiing (well to the resort and out on a sled) but someday will ski like sissy and bro bros. She hates, hates, hates Carter's hermit crab but loves Ginger the dog and Lucy the cat. My favorite thing she says is "Ooo cu cu". The look on her face is priceless. At first she was completely attached to me and never left my side. She followed me around the house and cried the most heart wrenching cry when I left. She has gotten so much better. I know that even though she is only two, she knows the feeling of being left alone and being taken from the only place she had to call home. I really think and feel that she knows now that this is where she belongs that we are a family and that when Mommy leaves she is always coming back. My favorite thing that Grace does is copy me. She watches very closely at how I do my hair or put on lipstick and she mimics every move I make. She loves to put on "pretties" meaning lip gloss and I have caught her in Morgan's room putting lip gloss on her eyelids. She loves to culey (color) just like Carter and loves to eat breakfast sitting on the kitchen counter with me in the morning. We have started having very small playdates and I am so glad to see how she is interacting with other kids. I can tell she has a hard time sharing and that's a normal kid thing. I think it's funny when she hides things behind her back and says "mine". I don't know, something about being a 30-40 something :) mommy means less sweat over the small stuff and more giggles over the things I used to be mortified over. So what if she does not want to share, so what if she wakes up at night and I rush to hold her and give her a bottle, so what if she wants a cookie for lunch and maybe even skips a nap or two... See how I have become a much more seasoned and less stressed mama! The other good news is that with age comes the "I don't care what people think" attitude and I don't care if Grace runs through the grocery store or throws a fit and falls to the ground crying. The truth is Grace just came to this earth a really good girl. She has her two year old moments but truly she is almost too easy. She sure has taken to her Daddy. She is sad when he goes to work and when he comes home she runs to him, jumps in his arms and gives him a big hug and kiss. He says she gives the best hugs and kisses and he is right. She loves his peaches and that makes him happy cuz our other kids don't (sorry Shane). She loves when he reads her stories and he is just so cute with her. I can't count how many times he says "oh my goodness is she cute". To say we are full of joy is an understatement and there is really no way to express our gratitude for the gift of Grace Demot. I am loving every minute of life with Grace along with so many other people who spoil her with love and treasures. Grace turns two on March 12th (the day Shane and I left Ethiopia with our Ethiopian princess). I can't wait to see what the next year hold for us and our beautiful children, knowing them and us it will be adventurous.

Before...

After!

The Whole Family.

2010-09-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

Super Mom's

2010-08-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I (Shane) would make a post as Amber has taken a short break. Grace, Carter, Morgan and Jenson-your Mom loves you so much!!! I'm amazed at the sacrifices she makes for the family each and every day. The love she has for each one of you seems to be endless..... The washing and folding of clothes, the countless hours of picking up, the shuttle bussing to the various destinations around town, the balancing act of buying the right amount of food to keep everyone's belly's happy and the constant worry about the well being of the family. It's a labour of love that I wanted to recognize.

To all the Mom's out there in the Mommy world, thank you so much for the sacrifices you make! I'm not a part of that world so there is no way that I can relate, but from my point of view, I see glimpses of how difficult the job is and the miracle of a Moms work here on earth. My Mom is an incredible blessing in my life and I credit her for the happiness and success that I have had in this life. She has been unconditional with her love and very giving in so many ways. I know our children will some day feel and say similar things about their Mom.

Thanks Mom's for the work you do and I wish you peace and sanity as you continue doing the great work you do.

So many firsts

2010-06-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

Wow I can hardly believe Grace has been home for almost four months. Truly it feels like she has always been a part of this family and I am amazed at how beautifully she has adjusted. I think one of the best things about being the Mom of a baby again (at my age) is truly enjoying all of the "firsts" with her. I know I appreciated them with my other three as well but for some reason being the "seasoned" Mommy that I am :) I am savoring all of the joys and experiences on a d

eeper level with Gracie. Here are some of the firsts that she has enjoyed in her short 4 months in the McMillan Family:

first airplane ride

first family vacation (Mexico 2010)

first time swimming and walking on the beach (well crawling)

first popcicle (did not like very much)

first trip to the park - playing on the grass, swing, slide, etc...

first time at the public pool (thinks she is a fish)

first trip to the zoo (waved at every animal and waited for a wave back)

first Easter egg hunt (cold, cold, cold)

first boating trip (the water was still freezing and she insisted on getting in)

first peanut butter and jelly sandwich (loves it)

first ice cream cone (rejected - we will work on it)

first time at Mc Donalds (loves french fries - definately a McMillan)

first photo shoot! (more of these pics to come)

And so many more I can't begin to list them all. We are having a blast and Grace is such a joy!

What a "BLESSING"

2010-06-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was Grace Demot's blessing day. She looked so adorable in her white dress and we had such a great time with family and friends afterward. Her Father gave her the most beautiful blessing, Morgan played a beautiful rendition of "I am a child of God" and there was not a dry eye in the room. Every day I am more and more amazed at how blessed we are to have her in this family. Every day I am more and more grateful for the gift we have been given and every day I am more and more in love with this little child. She is such a sweet soul and brings so much joy to this home. I am amazed at how well she has adjusted and each day she teaches me and reminds me of the pure gifts that love can bring.

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you God for this amazing child!

Muy Bonita'!

2010-05-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

My Spanish is a bit shaky but Very Beautiful was our annual trip to Mexico this year. I was a little scared taking Grace so soon after bringing her home (customs, first vacation, water, water and more water, strange bed etc...). When am I going to learn to stop being afraid and live in the moment? We had such an amazing trip. Grace was an absolute gem and had such a fun time. She was wonderful on the airplane and entertained people with her new laugh, smile and famous parade wave. My wonderful husband stayed at home to work/play/golf and we went with my Mother. Everything about the trip was a blast. We had so much fun running with Grace on the beach in her new fancy, smancy stroller. We took fun adventures everyday and played in the water all day too. Grace took her naps under the shade umbrellas everyday (just like my other 3 kids have done in years past), that's when I would kick back, put on the sunscreen and relax! My other three hoodlems ran amuk entertaining themselves and playing hard. We spent 7 days 6 nights with the culmination being Mother's Day. My kids shopped with my Mom and bought me a darling heart necklace and made me the greatest card ever. My Mom and I totally enjoyed the day of NO COOKING or entertaining anyone except ourselves. We ate breakfast on the porch and lunch at the beach and dinner on the beach. What a wonderful trip. I have posted a few pics of the trip and can't wait to go back! This post would not be complete without me telling a quick tidbit about Grace - She was a movie star in Mexico. Seriously people (strangers) would stop me on the street, in the stores at restaurants to hold her, kiss her and take her picture. I felt like.... Madonna.... well sort-of, you know what I mean. My 8 year old son got so sick of it he would walk away and say "not again". I thought about charging people to take a look but that has got to be illegal - RIGHT? Hmmmm

Walk This Way!

2010-04-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Grace has liftoff! She started standing up about 2 weeks ago and today

she took about 10 or more steps on her own... As you can tell it has been

a family milestone. Please note that I do call her "Jaba". Carter and I were playing

Star Wars with Grace prior to her walking to him and he decided she

was Jaba the Hut??? I know, I know, she should be Princess Lea but Carter

wanted her to be Jaba. Go figure...

Short but Sweet

2010-04-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

I have not been a good blogger lately and I am ok with that because life is just to busy but I do want to give a quick short but sweet update on Grace. She is amazing and fabulous and such a sweet heart. I honestly can't believe she is so absolutely perfect. Sometimes she is so good that I forget she is there. She smiles and waves and laughs and brings so much joy to so many people I honestly can't remember what life was like before her! I worried so much about bonding and my life being disrupted and my children being ignored or bent out of shape and none of that has come to pass. I am truly grateful for her, she is a gift. Today Shane passed by her room while we were playing and he stopped and said "Oh my goodness, I honestly can't believe how much I love her". He is smitten... She has grown a lot, her hair is growing and her wrists are getting a little chubby - I love that! She is a super crawler and soon to walk. She has learned very quickly how to scream to get her own way - and she gets it! She sings and dances, especially to Ethiopian music. She loves her bath, except when she is tired. She knows how to say "mama, dada, baba, hi". She know the dog says "ruff" and the cat says "meow". It is adorable to watch her share her dinner with the dog - one for me one for you! She is so dang cute, people stop me wherever we go to tell me that. Here are some pictures of her and of coarse my other amazing children....

Most Embarrassing Moment!

2010-04-11T10:37:00.001-07:00

I had to share this moment so it will be written and saved for future reference at family parties and with Grace when she is a Mommy of a little one and has something similar happen to her. I will be right there with her to say - "Oh the joys of Motherhood" and then retell this story to her. Here it is a new most embarrassing moment: I am bottle feeding her and today at church we had just settled down in the pew, she was drinking her bottle with her new dress, bow, shoes and my sassy new short as a boy haircut (yes we were in the middle and close to the front) when during the silence of the prayer I could tell she was sucking REALLY hard and was not getting anything. So, I carefully pried the bottle from her cute little mouth (before the Amen) to let the nipple fill back up and let the huge amount of sucking pressure out of the bottle. I found it strange when the nipple and bottle made a loud popping noise but put the bottle back in her mouth and closed my eyes for the Amen. Then I felt a warm, wet sensation on my legs, looked up and a huge hole had exploded in her bottle and 8oz of formula was running down her neck and onto a very embarrassing place on my skirt. Panicking I took the bottle out said "Oh my gosh" people looked, Grace started crying and I could not move because it looked like I had peed my pants (or worse!) My legs were completely wet, I could feel the back of my skirt getting wet and my husband could not find the car keys in our enormous diaper bag. The whole time he is looking for the keys my oldest daughter is saying "Mom get her out of here" and my youngest is crying because he wants to come home with me and to add to the stress my sweet husband, worried about my salvation :) is saying come right back! Remember it has been 8 years since we did the baby thing and I was NOT going back to church in a different outfit after that big ol scene...I had to run out of the chapel with milk running down my legs and I am sure the back of my skirt looking like I had had a major explosion of some kind. Oh the joys of Motherhood.

Wedding Announcement Picture!

2010-04-09T05:50:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't know why arranged marriages went out of style in this country, I think it is a fantastic idea. Who better to choose a partner for my kids than yours truly. Now they might not like the choice but who cares! With that being said here is my choice for Grace Demot. This is Simon and he is a true blue angel. He is also from Ethiopia and in fact Sele Enat where Grace spent time. The most important thing is I really like his Mom and Dad (in laws are very important). So here is a picture of them together right before Grace hit him in the face :(. He took it like a man... By the way we will be serving Mac and Cheese at the wedding lunch, it is clearly her favorite.

Cute video of Grace Demot

2010-04-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

Grace is doing remarkably well. I am finally into some sort of routine and we are loving every minute with her. I am so surprised at how well my youngest is doing with Grace. Carter has been such a big help and so kind. She loves him and smiles so big whenever he comes near her. I am surprised at how happy and smart she is. This video is only a sampling of her "tricks". She is picking up on so many things and loves the attention she gets from everyone we know. She is awake now so I must go, naptime is precious...

Favorite Foto Friday (or whatever you call it)

2010-03-25T18:21:00.002-07:00

I have come to grips with the fact that Photos are going to be all I post until I get a hang of this babyhood lifestyle again! Anyway the photos are darling, favorite and fabulous. Grace is fitting right in, she's got lots of McMillan "spunk".

2010-03-25T18:21:00.001-07:00

For your viewing pleasure...

2010-03-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

I don't have time to post a lot, mommyhood of a baby is harder than I remember! Grace Demot is doing wonderfully and I am recovering from jetlag and lots of loving visitors very slowly... I am posting some cute pictures for now and will post more later.

We are home!

2010-03-15T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yes we made it and I just want to say I love Ethiopia! What a gift to go to this country. Demot is doing great she loves me and the kids and is warming up to Shane. I will post more tomorrow finding spare time is hard with a baby and I forgot that! I am loving every minute of it, except the lack of sleep. Thanks to Morgan for posting while I was gone, I love ya girly girl. Pictures tomorrow.

Updates from Ethiopia.... By Morgan

2010-03-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone!

This is Morgan, Ambers Daughter. My mom is super busy with Demot so I am writing in her place. We just got off the phone with my mom and we all think it is the best thing in the world to say goodnight when she says good morning because of the time change. As we spoke with her, we could hear Grace singing in the background. My mom set her down for a second and she was just screaming on the phone! She is just so cute already and I haven't seen her in person. A week and a half and I will be able to hold her in my arms.

My mom wanted me to update on a few things that have gone on the past couple of days. She told me she went to go get a TV with sister Almaz (sorry for the spelling). They got the TV, but needed a VCR/DVD player so they could play videos. They were going to be charged $300 for one and that just was too much. You can get them here in the U.S. for like $30. My grandma and mom, also, have been extremely emotional (sorry guys for any added info I wasn't supposed to add). The whole experience has been humbling. With all the poverty and people on the streets, I don't blame her for crying. Amber is extremely grateful to have her mother, Marilyn, by her side through the whole adventure. She has been super supportive and so kind and loving in everything. Well, that's all for now!

Mom in Ethiopia Entry #1

2010-03-02T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ok Morgan and I are going to attempt a blog post from Ethiopia! Here goes Morgan.

The flight was not as long as I thought, actually I think Mom and I survived it quite well. Finding our luggage was a hoot and talk about chaos. We found our driver who was holding a sign that said "Amber McMillan" Yebsabi Guest House. He had been waiting for 3 hours for us. Would that happen in the states? NO! Our room at Yebsabi wonderful. Yes, dogs bark and roosters crow and people party all night but its clean and big and we have our own bathroom!

After we got cleaned up yesterday we were picked up to go to the care center to get Demot. what a day that was and I will post more when I get home but for now just know that she is AMAZING beyond belief. I love her so much. After we left the care center Demot cried very hard for about 1.5 hours, I felt so bad for her, I could tell she was terrified and her little heart was breaking. All she has known for 9 months is that care center and now here she is with two women she does not even know. I also think she is getting a bad cold. Sister Almaz said she is getting a bad flu... hmmm great. She ate rice cereal and had 2 bottles I think she was starving. She is awake now sitting on Nonny's lap - well now she is snoring so I guess she likes to be held (good yipeeeeee). That is all for now I am journaling in a notebook and will write it all down when I get home, I don't want to forget one second of this trip.

We are off!

2010-02-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

Well not quite yet. I will go to bed soon and hopefully sleep (ya right). Get up at 5:00 am and leave for Salt Lake International Airport at 6:30. I honestly and really excited and nervous. I have checked and rechecked every list possible and have gotten weather reports on Atlanta, Washignton DC, Rome and Addis Ababa....All is clear. I will post as I go!

Here we come Grace Demot!

Two Days

2010-02-25T05:37:00.001-08:00

Thursday (today, right now!) and Friday (tomorrow). Only two days until I leave for Ethiopia. I have only one simple request. If you are reading this (the 4 or 5 that do:)) PLEASE pray for us. Pray for my family back home, I am worried about leaving my precious 3 for two weeks, I know it's vain of me to think that they can't survive without me. I spent two hours yesterday making a calendar and typing up a "agenda bible" for my husband and the other people assisting me with my kids. Don't get me wrong my wonderful husband is fully capable of taking care of this home, our children and his job but a part of me thinks I am the only one who can do it, I know I am crazy but at least honest. Pray for my Mother and I and Shane that we have a safe and healthy trip. Please pray that all goes well with Demot - I have heard so much about bonding and attachment problems in the last few weeks I feel a bit nervous that she won't love me as much as I love her. I know, I know, I know there will be an adjustment but I pray it is a gentle one for both her and I. I believe in miracles, Shane said the most beautiful thing to me last night, he said "I have butterflies in my stomach because only 3 days until your reunion with Grace Demot". Re-union - get it? I know we have met before, I know we have made promises before and I know she is meant to be with this family now at this time. I bless her birth Mother and pray for her every day, I thank her for the gift and bless her aching heart, I promise many things to her and to God for this special child. Any and all prayers are so much appreciated and have been felt along this entire journey - Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.

Tick Tock....

2010-02-24T07:37:00.000-08:00

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock...The days to departure are coming soooo slowly. I know it is because I am so excited. I have a ton to do and feel a bit stuck but I know I will get it all done. I got a little information on Demot yesterday: She was sitting in the playpen with another baby playing with lots of toys. She is so beautiful and smiles when talked to, very happy. I can't even wait, seriously I have never in my 38 years been more excited for anything. Nervous? Yes! But nervous is the same thing as excited... Only 2.75 days left until my Mom and I leave for Ethiopia. I have a deep feeling that I am in for a life changing experience.

Making lists and checking them twice...

2010-02-20T15:51:00.000-08:00

So a few years from now I do not want to forget any of this process. The "Making A List And Checking It Twice" is a BIG, HUGE accomplishment and event in this process so I will fill you in a bit on what this all entails. Returning families have supplied their 3-4 page packing/shopping lists for others traveling and that has helped a lot. I now have 5 different lists on my office desk. The travel plans list, food list, packing list, child's names list, contact information list and to do list (that is the biggest one). Today my Mom and I went to Wal Mart (yah hoo Wal Mart) and did our food shopping, medicine shopping and a few last minute baby items shopping, 2 hours later we were done! I still have to go over the to do list and make sure I have not forgotten anything and then the big work begins. I get to pack!!!! I hope I can get over my over packing sickness that has plagued me for my whole life. I have to just keep telling myself "keep it simple". I have our 3 huge donation bags packed and weighed and have Grace Demot's stuff laid out (of coarse I have WAY too much), I pray I can fit everything I need to take in one suitcase (ya right!!). I will type up all of my kids agenda's for people and organize babysitters, rides etc...this week. I will get my final Hep A/ Hep B shot Tuesday, last day of work on Wednesday, I will post more about that later :( Exchange money, figure out my video camera. I feel like I have a handle on things which is good for my type A OCD personality. 7 days from today I will be on an airplane to get my baby girl, HOLY COW! Unbelievable....

Showered with love!

2010-02-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Today my Mom, BFF Kristin and sweet Mother in Law threw a wonderful baby shower for Grace Demot. It was so incredibly beautiful. It was a brunch with every kind of food you can imagine. Friends, family, neighborhood friends, work friends and church friends all came to support this most precious little girl. Needless to say she will be a fashionista and I will have to change her clothes every hour to get the full use out of the 30 or so outfits she got. I tried to capture it all in pictures but it is impossible to feel the love generated at this shower through words and pictures. Grandma Treat (MIL) made a darling picture for Grace's room of all the pictures we have received from referral until now, so cute! Tons of great toys and books, a sweet as can be swimsuit, stroller, blankets, bows for hair (a must!), beautiful dresses, sippy cups, homemade towels with buttons and bows, shoes galore, I could go on and on. It was so fun and I am so filled with love and gratitude, my heart is full. My Mom had of coarse decorated the house and it looked amazing, pink, white, yellow flowers everywhere, candles burning and framed pictures of Demot at every turn. Kristin brought yummy salad and darling party favors (gotta love mint chips). My Mom had a table set with paper and pens for people to write letters to Grace Demot and is compiling them into a book for her so that someday soon I can read them to her and tell her of how much she was loved and is loved! What a gift to have so many beautiful people in my life, I truly am a blessed woman. Oh and by-the-way....2 weeks!

Gifts...

And more gifts!!!

Amazing food...

Table to write a letter...

O.J., juice and Mamossa!

The three Amigas.

Kristen my BFF, Grandma Treat (MIL), My sweet Mom (so pretty)!

Thanks gals, I love you all!

Amber

Plans are being made

2010-02-09T16:33:00.000-08:00

Just an update. Airline reservations have been made, Salt Lake City to Washington D.C., D.C. to Rome to refuel, Rome to Addis Ababa! My Mom and I leave the 27th of February and she returns on March 7th. Shane flies in on March 7th and we return together with Demot on March 12th! We are staying at the Yebsabi guest house and I have heard great things about it. For now I am making lists and checking them twice. Trying not to feel buried by the endless to do's on top of the typical Momhood to do's. I can barely wait and have heard so many wonderful things about Demot from traveling families. Every report I get says she is SO BEAUTIFUL and quiet. She is Sister Almaz' favorite and gets fed personally by her. Oh the excitement and joy is almost tangible in this house. 2.5 weeks and counting...

Sweet 16!!!!

2010-02-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

Typically this is an adoption blog but I could not let this day go without wishing my first princess a HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! Morgan Leigh McMillan was born at 7:54 pm on February 5th 1994 and it was one of the best days of my life. What a joy she has been since the minute she entered this world. She is a gift from God and brings love, light, peace, kindness, adventure, laughter, strength, elegance, and pure, deep beauty into this family and to every person that is blessed by her friendship. Thank-you God for this gift, thank-you Morgan for being an inspiration to me and to your family...WE LOVE YOU!!!

Morgan's Nonny came at 4 am and decorated the outside of our house with hearts, balloons and signs! Tonight we will take Morgan and a group of girls to dinner then back to our house for a good old fashioned PARTY (I hope Shane and I survive). Tomorrow Morgan will go on her 1st date to the SweetHeart Ball...(will Dad survive?).

Love ya Morgie la Borgie, Morgster, Morganastan, Morg, Coop and of coarse Princess Morgan.

Morgan at age 3!

IT'S CONFIRMED!!!

2010-02-04T11:00:00.001-08:00

I found out today that our confirmed Embassy date is March 10th! That is only 4 1/2 weeks away. That means I will leave on Saturday February 27th with my sweet Mom for Ethiopia. She will leave on the 5th to come home and Shane will fly in to meet Grace and we will spend a week in Addis Ababa. It's only 22 days until departure, until I fly 18 hours to hold, love and finally meet my little Grace Demot McMillan. It almost does not seem real and I am preparing myself for a wave of emotions that I have never nor will ever experience again. This process has been one of major growth that I truly never anticipated, but that is how we learn. My heart is tied to this little soul and I pray hers is as well. I would be lying if I did not tell you that I am scared. Scared she will not love me, scared I will not have the strength, scared I will get sick, scared I won't remember how to mother a baby, scared I am out of my league, scared I will not provide the kind of home that a biracial family needs, scared she will not know how much I have longed for and how much I love her. But, fear is not love so I will choose to not be scared but....excited! No, excited does not even come close to what I am experiencing right now, there are no words to describe this feeling so I will just pray that God will bless Grace Demot, bless me, bless my family with the love, knowledge and strength that we need at this time. And so it is!

Unbelievably Adorable

2010-02-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

I got some new pictures of our little angel today and just could not resist posting a picture of her. I am so happy because she is smiling. This is one of the only photos I have received with her smiling. Oh how I appreciate all of the traveling families that so generously take time to snap some pics and details of our kids. I also learned that Demot is tiny (6-9 month clothes) and has no teeth. She crawls and loves the walker. I may just have to invest in one. Then again I think I will just hold her forever!!!

Service Birthday Party!

2010-01-30T15:42:00.000-08:00

Carter was invited to a "mad scientist" birthday party today and instead of bringing gifts for the 9 year old birthday boy, the invitation asked for the kids to bring "stickers, crepe paper, balloons, shampoo and baby wipes" for the Care Center and Sele Enat. What an amazing idea! My kids have so much "stuff" that I love the idea of service for a birthday party. Thanks Jen for thinking outside of yourself but mostly thanks Matthew for being so humble and willing to sacrifice your birthday gifts for others in need! Blessings to you and your family...

*Waiting on an Embassy appointment - Waiting is a four letter word to me!!!!!!

Prayer Works! We passed court...

2010-01-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

What a journey this has been! I am so excited to announce that we passed court today at 4:44 am! Here's a quick run down of my night... Watched a movie with Morgan and ate food I shouldn't until 11:00. Prayed REALLY hard, basically begged for good news. Fell asleep until 2:45. Wide awake with anxiety and nervous stomach wondering if all was well in Ethiopia. Walked around the dark house, took ibuprophen because my arms hurt really bad from shots! Wandered into the office, looked at the computer and decided I would not let my computer addiction get the best of me tonight (HA). Went back to bed and watched Martha Stuart, felt guilty because my closets don't look a thing like what she was showing. Tossed, turned got out of bed back to the computer. Just took a tiny peek at the yahoo forum, posted one comment and went back to bed. Fell asleep watching the home shopping network, slept for about 45 minutes. Finally got out of bed and stumbled into the obsession room to check my e-mails. Here is what I found; (Aneata is our coordinator)

aneata: 3:49 am not yet

I know it's only 2 o clock in Addis and they are still working but I e-mailed Mitin and asked her to let me know about Demot's case as soon as she hears anything.

aneata: 4:44 am update

Demot Passed Court!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!

aneata: 5:26 if

if I had you phone number I would call you from home! Where are you???

Well, needless to say when I got to the 4:44 post I fell on the ground and cried and screamed and all of the kids came in and cried with me. I immediately called Mr. Mac (Shane) and gave him the good news. He's a Daddy.... to 4 kids! He was so happy and said "I was scared to come home if we didn't pass". Poor thing - he's scared of me :)

What a day to celebrate, here is what I have learned:

*Prayer does work the way God want's it to, not me!

*Miracles do happen

*Love is a gift

*Patience is an acquired trait (not so fun to learn)

*I truly am blessed by so many friends and family who love us and love baby Grace Demot

*Did I mention that prayer does work, this is a BIG lesson for me

Now for the good stuff: INTRODUCING GRACE DEMOT MCMILLAN

WE LOVE YOU AND WE ARE COMING TO GET YOU GRACE!

Two minus one = ONE

2010-01-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

I truly never thought this day would come. I have read so many other blogs that post this same thing and have felt so envious wondering if we would ever make it to this point. Well, today is the day. Tonight as we sleep a judge in Ethiopia will hear our case and decide if we pass or don't pass court. I have had a lot of people ask if we don't pass does that mean we can't adopt. No, it just means our case is delayed. There really is no rhyme or reason to rescheduling I just pray we pass. Today has been an interesting day. I went for shots and went at the wrong time, the receptionist made me cry, I came back and hour later and had 6 shots plus H1N1 nose spray. I spent 3 hours at Starbucks with an amazing friend who has been an angel throughout this entire process. I am in deep gratitude for her advice, laughter and support. Friends are a gift from God! I picked up my son from school and was crying (for no given reason), lost my car keys and forgot to unlock the door for my cleaners so my house looks like crap. But the good news is it's almost 4:00 and it is Friday in Ethiopia. My prayer is simple;

I pray that all paperwork is in order and that we pass court tomorrow! That is all I ask...

Amen

*Please pray for us as well...Thank-you God for all of your many gifts!

Three...

2010-01-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

Three days (sort of) until court. Today, tomorrow and then tomorrow night while we sleep our case will be heard by a judge in Ethiopia. Hopefully we will get amazing news early on Friday. I am getting very nervous.... Grace we pray for you every day and bless you to feel our love for you and ask God that our court date will be successful and we can come and bring you home.

And then there were 4!

2010-01-19T08:23:00.000-08:00

I missed day number 5 but whose counting??? We spent the day in Las Vegas and had such a great time. I can actually say I had moments when I did not obsess over the adoption. Sorry to say that I did not win any money but did not lose any either (I did not gamble). We went to an authentic Ethiopian restaurant called "Ethiopian Cafe". It was an amazing experience. The restaurant is owned by a husband and wife from Ethiopia and we spent quite a while talking to him about the people of Ethiopia and the adoption. Of coarse I showed him pictures of Grace and of coarse he said she was beautiful. The food was wonderful and my kids actually loved it. Carter loved to make balls out of the injera, Jenson was very brave and ate everything I did (we ordered the vegetarian platter). Shane and Morgan are the adventurous eaters in this family and lived up to the call. They ate the meat platter and spicy lamb. The entire experience made us all so appreciative of Ethiopia and even more excited to go get Grace Demot. After dinner we went to Planet Hollywood to see the V Variety show. Ok I have not laughed so hard in a really long time. All of our cheeks hurt from smiling and that is a good thing! Laughter truly is good for the soul. I can't believe it's Tuesday and look forward to a safe drive home. Thursday my Mom and I go for a series of about 7 shots so that in and of itself will give me something to look forward to (ha, ha).

I will post some pictures of our trip to Vegas when I get home.

Six Days!!!

2010-01-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

My guest blogger today is Shane (my amazing husband). He titled the post and it is very creative. My wife gave me permission to blog today so let me tell you how excited I am to become a blogger! Wow! We are down in St. George enjoying the sun and amazing country of southern Utah. I love the red rocks and the great energy of this area. We look out at Snow Canyon from our casita and the views are amazing. We have six more days to the much anticipated court date. I pray that we pass for my wife's sanity and for the sanity of our family! Amber has learned a greater level of patience through this process! I appreciate her capacity to love and the passion she has for life. We are all excited to bring Grace home. Thanks to Amber for being the motivator for this to happen as the experience will not only change Grace's life, but our lives as well. Thanks to all who have supported Amber through this process and thanks to her awesome friends for being so good to her. We love you Grace and will soon hold you in our arms. Your love bucket (you will soon learn what this means) will soon be over flowing with love from your family.

Lucky Seven

2010-01-16T07:11:00.000-08:00

Lucky Seven because were down to seven days until court AND we are leaving for a little family getaway to St. George Utah and....LAS VEGAS BABY! Maybe I will come home a bazillionare.

Eight is great!

2010-01-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

Lucky number eight!

Eight days to court...

There is a lot more to blog about right now but I can only focus on eight. Eight days until we find out if you legally become a member of our family. You have been a heart felt and treasured member of our family since August 20 (or before :)) but this will mean we can start the coundown to come get you and hold you and kiss you...

Love, Peace and Joy...

Nine and feelin' fine...

2010-01-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

Nine days until court!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

For those of you who know me well and how incredibly difficult this wait has been for me you will relate to the words of this song:

Uh Hu "The Dark Sadness" :)

The countdown begins...10

2010-01-13T11:31:00.001-08:00

Ten days until our court date!

We have a lot to learn...

2010-01-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

Last night we were blessed to be invited to an Ethiopian celebration for families who have adopted children from Ethiopia. It was a last minute invite but Shane and I decided to go for our weekly "date night". I was not sure what to expect except that I was really excited to see all of the beautiful Ethiopian children and sample some authentic Ethiopian food. What a treat we were in for. The food was amazing. I am not really sure what we ate, I was told the names and it was beautiful but I have a lot to learn about the food. I do like and know what injera is(don't know if it is spelled correctly). I told Shane that I could eat that with peanut butter and jelly in Ethiopia when we go to pick up Demot. We were also entertained by the cutest little Ethiopian dancers. They did traditional and not so traditional dances (you will see what I mean in the pictures below). Then two beautiful young women came out to entertain us with authentic Ethiopian dances. All of the children then gathered on the stage to sing Ethiopian songs for us. Most of the parents sang along (I have a lot to learn). There was a clipboard going around for heritage camp this summer, I had no idea that even existed. Needless to say it was a wonderful evening and got me even more excited for Grace Demot to come home. I also felt a great responsibility to learn more, do more and give more to the Ethiopian culture. If I am going to raise a beautiful girl from this beautiful land I get to teach her about her heritage, her culture and her country. So Shane and I have work to do and things to learn, it feels a bit daunting but I know we can do it and I am so excited to move forward.

2.2 WEEKS AND AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL!

2010-01-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

Only 2 weeks and 2 days until the infamous court date. I am trusting that all is in order and we will pass with flying colors. I am also a realist and have learned that ANYTHING is possible in the adoption process. Ok so if ANYTHING is possible, there is a very good chance we will pass court on the first try!!!

I have finished Grace's bedroom with just a few minor things still to do. I have bought enough clothes to spoil her rotten and Lucy our fat cat is enjoying Grace's crib. For all of you germaphobes and cat haters, I will sterilize the sheets before Grace gets home. And please don't tell me the stories about how cats suffocate babies (I have 3 kids and have had 6 cats over the past 19 years and all of my kids are alive).

Below are some pics....Enjoy!

Also if you are a sucker for sappy songs like I am listen to the words of the song playing for you now! It is called Angel's Lullaby, get a tissue....

Christmas Eve Jammies, such a fun tradition!

The Court Date Chain, it started with 22 chains.

The finished product!

I can't even wait to rock Grace and read her a story in that chair!

What? I'm just testing it out.....

COURT DATE, COURT DATE, COURT DATE!

2009-12-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

I can't say it enough and I can't believe it either. I was on my way out the door this morning to work and I got a phone call from our coordinator. She said "Amber I have a court date". I said "YOU DO" and she said "yes, it is January 22nd". Of coarse I cried and buried my head in disbelief and gratitude, it felt like a boulder had been lifted off my shoulders. What a beautiful way to start this snowy day. I feel so calm and so relieved to finally be in the court system. I feel like we have been floating around in a dark abyss for 5 months and now we have finally landed somewhere. My Mom is so cute, she brought my 3 kids and a little Ethiopia book with a "congratulations" balloon to work today - so thoughtful. So 3 weeks until Court Day, that sounds like a long time - HA I say! I just did 5 months of hard core solitary waiting time, 3 weeks is a walk in the park!!! I am so grateful and so excited to be at the finish line of this seemingly never ending saga in my life. Oh ya, my kids and husband are exstatic as well. We celebrated tonight by getting wasted on garlic bread, brushetta and pizza.... Gotta love a reason to eat. Pray for the 22nd!

The Magic Paper!!!

2009-12-16T14:35:00.001-08:00

Today is a great day! I got an e-mail from our coordinator at 9:30 am with the simple word: SOCIAL. Excitement cannot explain how I felt, relief maybe. Attached was Demot's social history of which I will cherish and share with her someday. It had the meaning of her name (a place in Ethiopia), her Mother's name and her birthdate. Her birthday is March 12, 2009. What a blessed day that is! I can't believe she may be home for her 1st birthday. I finally feel like there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. The past 4 months I have pictured myself being stuck in a tunnel watching everyone else zoom by me and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except hope and pray that I might someday get on the track with them. Like the "Little Engine That Could" I finally feel like I am on that track, on my way up, almost to the top of that impervious hill, all the way saying to myself: "I think I can, I think I can, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I think I can, I think I can, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I think I can etc....... Now I can honestly say "I know I can" see the top, the light and finally the finish line.

COME ON COURT DATE!!!!!

Holy Cow 19 years!

2009-12-10T05:59:00.000-08:00

There is no news on the adoption front but huge news otherwise. Shane and I have been married for 19 years today! What a blessing to have a husband so patient, kind, loving and supportive. I can't believe it has been 19 years. I am amazed to say that in one more year I will have been married longer than I was not (wrap your brain around that). So much has happened to us over the past 19 years I wanted to make a little list of some of the wonderful memories we have shared. Marriage truly is like a roller coaster ride and I would not want to be on it with any one else. I love you honey!

XOXOXOOOO

*This list can't do justice to all 19 years but these are some of my fondest and most blessed events:

First home 7 feet from the railroad tracks

Surprise I brought you two kittens! I know how you love cats :( oops

Buying our first home (Carriage Crossing condo)

Camping trip, oops you forgot the tent :(

Morgan Leigh McMillan 2/5/94

Sleepless nights

Moving to Phoenix (yukky apartment living waiting for home to be built, crazy neighbors)

Second home in Phoenix (your dream right on a golf coarse, and utility road :( )

Learning that home placement is important for sleep!

Surgery for our baby girl (very scary)

Not much success in Phoenix time to move back to Utah

Jenson Shane McMillan 11/12/96

More sleepless nights

3rd home in Bountiful (such a great home and so many great memories)

Cutting trees, yard work until 12:00 am!

Ruby (sorry just couldn't leave her out)

Remodel

New business

Golf addiction (wouldn't change it for the world)

Trips to Mexico

Christmases, Thanksgivings, Birthdays, Mother Day, Father's Day, 4th of July Breakfasts

Easter in St. George

Olympics (yikes)

Carter Philip McMillan 6/12/01

LOTS OF PERSONAL GROWTH FOR BOTH OF US (Lift Off etc...)

Moved to Colorado

Rental Home (blessed friends)

4th Home (right?) in Highlands Ranch

Lots of success with work = great trips with you honey! Bahamas, St. Kitts, Baltic Sea, Washington DC, South Carolina, Disneyland (all with lots of memories of their own)

Lessons learned time to move home

5th home in Bountiful

Skiing, camping, boating, hiking, more yard work LOTS...

Somethings missing.................January 09 "Let's adopt" And the angels wept!

What an amazing ride I can't believe it, I love you. I honor you. YOU are my greatest teacher, my soul mate, my companion, my friend, my lover, my hero.

Amber

Blog-o-loague

2009-11-19T09:05:00.001-08:00

Blog-0-loague: def: A combination of random thought, ideas and or questions written down for the pure enjoyment/therapy of the writer herself and not particularly entertaining for anyone else.

(I wrote that myself).

When I was little I used to love to cut out bits and pieces of the newspaper or magazines and glue them all over paper to make a coloague. I don't really have anything important to blog about, but a lot of random thoughts that I decided to get out of my head thus creating a blog-o-loague... Maybe, just maybe it will make me feel better while we continue to yearn for a court date.

- I love the days when I only check my e-mail 20 times instead of 40-50 times. OCD = ME

- This one is hard to admit so don't judge me: If my kids are on the computer and I want to check my e-mail, I give them a random errand to go do, slip in the chair log on and check to see if there is any new news on the forum, click out and escape unnoticed!

- "Patience is a virtue" was made up by someone with great patience!

- I am blessed to have great friends that forgive me when I am "in my stuff".

- In the adoption world never say "I know she will be home by..."

- Why does time seem to go soooooo sloooooow when you are waiting for something so exciting?

- Absence does make the heart grow fonder: I miss you Shane :) and Grace...

- Will Grace fit into all the clothes I have bought her by the time she gets home?

- Does the fact that I wake up every night 2-3 times as well as wake up at 5:00 or 5:30 am mean God is preparing me for a baby again, or just drinking too much water?

- Living vicariously through other people's adoption blogs cannot be healthy, yet I find it so healing right now.

- I love watching U-Tube adoption videos more than reading or watching regular TV right now. Great entertainment, wholesome, no commercials and they always make me cry (not too hard these days).

- Is it possible to study too much and share with your kids everything you have learned that day about the country and region their sister is from?

- Is it mean to then make them listen and get angry when they don't seem to care?

- Finally, is it sad that I had to look up the word "coloague"?

Hmmm there's a lot more but for now I will just chew on all of that!

A good day!

2009-11-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day! Yesterday, not so great. I found out yesterday that Damot's file was not complete and that MOWA (Ministry of Womens Affairs) in Addis Ababa is requesting more information from the region that Damot is from. I was told that this could take up to one week to get and then we can be re-submitted for a court date. So for now I just keep breathing and as Shane keeps telling me "it's all in divine order"! Last night I told him to not tell me that one more time, but today and even last night in my heart I know he is right. He also told me last night that I am not the most patient person and that this was the "perfect" lesson for me. That hit me pretty hard because I knew it was true! Anyway, this morning my computer obsession took over again and on my way out the door to go to the gym I decided I would just take a peek at the adoption forum to see if there was any news on anything (I know it's crazy, I don't care anymore). Low and behold there was a post from a woman that is in Ethiopia waiting to pass court and loving on her baby at the care center. She left a tid bit of information about Damot that just made my day! She said: Damot is beautiful and delicate. She loves to smile and is sitting up. She loves to scoot in the walker and loves to throw toys out of her crib. She hates getting her nose wiped and went outside with one of the nannies yesterday. Doesn't that just bring a smile to your face. It does me :) :) :) :) Funny how the small things in life can make me happy! What a gift to have this information about this little soul we love so dearly. This will hold me over for a while...

I believe in miracles and believe that Damot's paperwork will come in very quickly and that a court date will be assigned sooner than anticipated :) That is my families prayer!

And So It Is!

Blah, Blah, Blah and a letter to Grace!

2009-11-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

I have not felt like posting anything lately because I have been so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I decided today that I would post something in hopes of using this post as therapy for my weary soul. All of my other posts have been relatively upbeat and positive, keeping up with what the family is doing and how we are preparing for the arrival of Grace Damot McMillan. But as each day passes (81 to be exact), I find it harder and harder to keep a positive attitude. Our referral was given on August 20th and then courts closed. I expected, (that is where I went wrong) that shortly after courts re-opened on October 12th that a court date would soon follow...WRONG! I have continued to wait on pins and needles - literally - for the phone to ring and to hear those wonderful 5 words "You have a court date!". This wait has been one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced in my life. I know that sounds dramatic and it probably is, but it is the truth. I have seen her face, I adore her, I know her and I ache to hold her in my arms. Each day that passes I wonder if she is happy, does she know and feel her family sending her love from around the world? I have really learned a lot about prayer: 1. It is very powerful. 2. It is a direct connection and amazing form of communicating with my Heavenly Father. 3. It does bring peace in times of trial. 4. Prayers are not always answered in the way I want them. That's the kicker for me. I know there are so many beautiful and amazing lessons to be learned throughout this process, but learning that I get to trust that every thing is in divine order is not an easy one for me. Stubborn, YES I AM! Learning to be patient....hmmmm I hope so! So, with all of this blah, blah, blah being said I had someone suggest that I write a letter to Grace on my blog so that someday she will read it and know how much she was longed for, how much she was loved and how many amazing lessons were learned through the process of adopting her. So here goes:

My dearest Grace,

Right now you are far away sleeping peacefully in your crib. You have people who are caring for you, bathing you, feeding you and loving on you, for that I am grateful. The journey to bring you home has been one of so many different emotions, joy, gratitude, humility, frustration, peace and has brought your family so close together. We pray for you each morning and each night. You are never out of my thoughts. Your picture is posted throughout our home and so many people you may never even meet are sending you love. I miss you and I want you to know that you are a gift to this family and to this world. I know that there are so many beautiful things you are meant to accomplish in this lifetime and I am deeply honored to be a part of those things. I know you don't know it right now but someday when you read this I want you to be absolutely clear of one thing: YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE! You have in your short time on this earth already touched so many people and I can't wait to experience what you do with the rest of your life. What a gift to love you, what a gift you are, I love you with all of my heart and today I send you more love than you know what to do with. May the angels watch over you and keep you safe until the day that we finally meet...in person!

Love,

Your Mommy

I thought on the positive side I would give you a preview of Grace's room. It is at the 50% mark and really cute so far. I can't wait to finish it but mostly I can't wait until I look in there and see my little Gracie sleeping soundly in her freshly painted crib!

Timeless Tradition!

2009-10-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays! Costumes are being created and I will post pictures of them later this week. My Mom is sewing a costume for Carter (I will just say "The Great Pumpkin will arise"). Morgan and Jenson are at the age now where getting a costume means raiding the costume closet in the basement - so funny! We spent last night at my Mom's having a taco fest (eating as much mexican food as we could stuff in), splurging on apple crisp and carving pumpkins. I have posted some pictures of the process - enjoy!

Quick update: We are still awaiting a court date and yes, I am going crazy........

Service equals love.

2009-10-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post about the gift of service and how is has touched and inspired our family recently. Our church had a service project last night for our family where women of our church gathered for a yummy dinner, information was presented on third world countries and how in need they are of service, and then we spent the rest of the evening tying 3 beautiful crib quilts for us to take to Sele Enat when we travel to pick up Grace. I am so touched by the outpouring of love and interest in this adoption and so appreciate the monetary donations that were given, as well as the baby items, toys and other items that have been so graciously donated. We will be proud to take them to Ethiopia with us and deliver them in the name our church family. Again I have been shown how much acts of service (both big and small) can touch a person and make them feel loved!

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you...

We are still awaiting a court date!

Patience is a virtue!!!

2009-09-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well, there has been some change on the adoption forefront none of it really good. I had heard that courts were opening on September 28th and that was good news. We then were told it would be October 7th and that was ok then, we found out that courts are now not opening until October 12th: THIS STINKS! I really try hard to stay positive and not get impatient but sometimes I feel my patience cap being tightened to the point of a huge migraine. I was wishful thinking that Grace would be home before Christmas or shortly after, it looks like now it could be January. I refuse to think February because that sounds like and feels like one million years away. We were also told by our agency that we cannot travel until 8 weeks after passing court. My Dad today said that by the time we go get Grace we will have to bring home her husband as well. He was kidding of coarse but I thought that was funny. A sense of humor is very important in the adoption world, a not so type A personality would be good too. I can do the sense of humor but the type A is too ingrained. For now I will pray for the earliest court date possible and know that all is in divine order.

I will keep myself very busy and post some pictures of Grace's new room. It is a work in progress and I can't wait until it is done. I have painted the rocking chair, found the crib and all of it's parts from storage and will paint that this weekend. My aunt Chris gave us a darling changing table that I get to paint and a wonderful high chair. I can't wait to decorate her room, when Morgan was a baby I was determined to NOT make her girly so I did her room yellow, blue and red. I am so sorry Morgan! She's all girl now though. Needless to say Grace's room will be pink, pink and more pink. I told someone the other day that I feel like I am nesting. I have cleaned out all of the closets, the storage room and I am painting the kitchen this weekend. Gosh, at this rate and if things keep getting postponed, I will have the entire house redecorated and organized by the time Grace gets here... yep, I am nesting - tweet, tweet!

The cutest prayer ever!

2009-09-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight I tucked Carter in, and as I usually do laid with him a while, we remembered that he forgot to say his prayers. I am so glad we remembered because after blessing everyone we know (each by name), he then said "please bless that we will have enough food and water". This really touched me and I know that without us adopting Grace the fact that we even have the blessing of food and water would not be a reality to my children. We have spent a lot of time talking about how lucky we are to live in this great country and how blessed we are to have ample amounts of food and water. The saying "finish your meal because there are starving children out there" takes on a whole new meaning for us now. Wow kids are great! How pure and close to God they truly are... No new adoption news yet. Fall is in the air and I feel a court date coming on...

Mozart in training and Swiss Days?

2009-09-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Carter at his piano/violin recital, he really is getting good!

Is this what Mozart looked like after a brilliant performance?

YES

Jenson doing his part to add to our family orchestra

Note: Shane and Amber play the finger cymbals only...

Or is this what Mozart looked like after a brilliant performance???

Ok kill me, I made Carter try this hat on at Swiss Days to see if it would fit Grace.

Isn't it adorable?

Shane found an animal he actually likes...a goat!

It looks like the feeling is mutual. He even brought her flowers.

These baby goats kept escaping from their pen at Zermat (the resort we

(stay at in Heber City, Utah).

Oh how I love my boys!

I often try to take cute pictures of my three kids and typically

these are the reactions that I get...

One step closer!

2009-09-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

WOW! Today after many, many, many trips to the USCIS office to revise, revisit and request an updated I-171H it finally arrived today in the mail. I know Carter will be sad that we no longer have to go there he quite likes it! I am so excited and feel one step closer to going and getting our sweet Grace Damot McMillan. Yesterday we received a special treat via

e-mail, five more pictures of Damot and a 40 second video clip. These were all taken by a very special family that had just gotten home from picking up their child from Ethiopia. I am in deep gratitude for them taking the time to do this, it truly is a special gift. The pictures are amazing, she is so dang cute I can't even stand it. She has the most beautiful eyes, lips, chin, well everything about her is special and I love her! It was so beautiful because Shane called me this morning, I had forwarded the video clip of her to him out of town, and he said "I want to tell you that I have watched the video several times and I can't wait to go get her and hold her, she is amazing and I love her". Even as I write this I am crying, what a blessing to love someone you have not met (unless we have...). Our adoption coordinator told me that courts might open next Monday, that is so exciting. Now we wait and expend all of our prayers and energy toward a quick court date and swift travel to bring Grace Damot McMillan home to her family here in Bountiful, Utah. I can't wait to hold her, kiss her, squeeze her, read to her, rock her, feed her a bottle, and Shane can't wait to swaddle her in a blanket (inside joke, he once gave Morgan heat stroke from swaddling her in too many blankets, in Arizona 110* weather). More updates to come...I am getting progressively better at consistent blogging.

Parenting 101

2009-09-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Someone should have told me that being a parent to two teenagers was going to be this ... interesting! It takes a lot more strategizing, patience, emotional exhaustion, forced communication, and sheer energy than I ever thought possible, it makes raising an infant seem effortless. Shane turned 40 in July and I am of coarse A LOT younger (by two years) but creeping into my 40's at lighting speed. We have giggled lately about the fact that we are going to be starting the whole parenting adventure over again in a matter of months. We have joked about how dang tired we are at 9:00 pm and wonder how having a baby in our family is going to immensely change our lives. Don't get me wrong we are both very energetic, healthy and fun loving people but it has been 8 years since we carried a diaper bag/car seat/changed diapers etc...you get the picture? A good friend of mine who had their last child later in life (around 40) told me that it was the best thing that ever happened to them. That this particular child kept her and her husband young at heart and young in general. Don't get me wrong 40 is NOT old or even close to it. I feel like a spring chicken but I am not 20 any more (thank God), and it's been a long time since we did the baby thing. But, compared to the teenage era I expect it will be a welcome change. A crying baby and poopy diaper seems so much less complicated than wondering where your teenage daughter is at five past her curfew and if your teenage son is spending enough time on homework rather than facebooking!@#$%^ They grow up so stinking fast. I wish I could just sit Morgan on my lap and rock her, read her a story, put her to bed, turn out the light and know that she is going to stay there until morning. It's so fun to have these little people who are still dependent but growing ever so independent. What an exciting adventure parenting is, and what an new adventure we are in for! It's been about a month since we received our referral and last week got a medical update on Demot. I don't know if her name is spelled Damot or Demot? It has shown up both ways. Carter likes Demot because he thinks the other one sounds like a swear word. He is so darn funny I can't stand it. Her medicals looked good! She has lost a little weight and I do not know if that is normal or not? I keep comparing her weight and height to other babies I see here in America and of coarse we continue to pray for her well being. I have put together this little pink picture album that I carry everywhere I go and shamelessly show her picture to people even if they do not seem interested. I am such a proud mama. I started buying her a few clothes and remember how fun it is to shop for girls. Yesterday Morgan and her friend Jane found these little pink high tops and I could not resist. People in our church have been so overwhelmingly excited and gracious about this adoption. The youth group is going to spend and evening making blankets and hats for the orphanage. And the women's group is going to do a huge service activity mid November. We have been so blessed already by this adoption. We have bonded as a family and come together for a common cause. It is not like being pregnant at all, it is actually like the entire family is "having a baby". Anyway, life in the McMillan family is crazy and fun. The kids are keeping me very busy - I call myself the "Official Shuttle Bus Driver". I started teaching dance again last week and every time I step into that studio with those little people (2-4 year olds) I remember why I do this job at all! They are just little gems and I love em! Hopefully I will get a few pictures of Demot this week from families returning after picking up their children, but then there could be a dry spell for a while. The next court dates are scheduled for October 9th and then travel would be 4-5 weeks later. We of coarse are awaiting our new I-171H and boy has that been a process... we are also awaiting our court date. This definately is a game of wait, wait, wait and wait some more. Good for the patience and good for the soul.

Sitting, Stretching, Surprised!

2009-09-01T12:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were blessed to get 3 new pictures of Grace Damot from a family who just brought their little girl home from Ethiopia. They so generously took the time to capture her sitting in a bumpo chair, stretching her arms way up (my Mom calls it the "So Big" picture), and a funny picture of her looking very surprised. I must admit she is the most beautiful little girl. Her eyes speak of wisdom, charm and a lot of personality. The same family that took these pictures told me that she is a "spitfire". For those of you that know my other three children God certainly does know what he is doing! Her pictures are hanging all over our house and so every corner I turn there she is, it makes me smile just to see her face. I feel those longing feeling of "I'm missing you" that I never knew would happen with an adoption. I must say sorry that I cannot post pictures of her yet, she is not "officially" ours until we pass court. We are desperately hoping to have her home by Christmas which would mean a late October early November court date. In the adoption world I am learning that what I want and what really happens are not always the case but I will exercise my faith and energy that God will bless this adoption process to move swiftly and that all will be in place for a timely finale to this beautiful journey. The good news is that school has started which means a plethora of activities to keep my wandering mind busy. With football games, lacrosse, school work, carpools, teaching, piano lessons etc... I have a lot to occupy my time and hopefully assist to pass the time quickly. I have a lot to do to prepare for the arrival of a new baby in this family. After I had Carter we were done having children therefore I gave everything away. This means I get to begin the joyous process of collecting baby items. I will tell you that so far I have purchased far too many darling pink clothes, a binky, blankets, toys and I have the colors of her bedroom all picked out. Every time I bring a new outfit or item home the entire family celebrates as if it were something for themselves. We are already having a blast. I have also spent a lot of time researching Ethiopia, I have a lot more to learn but really want to capture the place that Grace Demot orginally called "home". For now I will leave you with some pics of my kiddos and some of our crazy antics of the summer.

Three blind mice / bugs at California Adventures

Mexico 09 - Always an adventure

McMillan Family 09

This captures their personalities perfectly!

Finally a Referral!

2009-08-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since my last post but so far I am doing much better at this than my handwritten journal so... all is well! Life in the McMillan home has been very exciting. About 3 weeks ago I received a phone call from our adoption coordinator, I thought that for sure this was the referral call (we had been at #2 on the infant list for over a month). In fact she was not calling to give us a referral but to ask if we would be open to taking a girl under the age of 12 months. She explained that they had children waiting for medical reports that were close to being referred but none fit into our age range. Honestly I did not even need to think about it but wanted to ask Shane how he felt. He immediately said "yes"! So the type A in me jumped back into the paper chase. I had to have our home study revised and had to type a letter to the USCIS to have a new I600 A approval done for a name change. I know it all sounds complicated but it came together very quickly. We are still waiting for our I600 A approval but that is for a new post. Carter started school on August 20th (a day I will never forget). I had taken Jenson to buy school supplies at Target when my cell phone rang. I saw that it was my husband and knew he would be calling before he went golfing for the day. I answered and he said "Hi do you want me to make your day". I guess I wasn't thinking because I said "Shane what's up", very casually wondering why he was interrupting my shopping with such a trivial question. Sometimes when he has had a good day at work he will ask me the same question so I was expecting a work report. He then asked me the same question again. Then I knew something was up. He said "what could I possibly tell you that would make your day". At that moment the entire world stood still. I instantly knew that a referral had come in for our family. I said "SHUT UP" ( I know, not very polite but I didn't care), hit Jenson in the chest and began bawling in Target. Jenson was mortified that I was crying so hard and said "Mom people are going to think someone died". I could tell though that he was a bit teary himself. This experience has definately been a family affair. The kids were just as obsessed with the "wait list" as I was. I am trying to find a new wait list for us to be on so we all don't go through withdrawls (ha ha). I remember asking Shane how old she was (5 months). Then I said "I am coming right home". I practically ran to the checkout to pay, the cute girl behind the counter I am sure thought I was losing my mind, crying and laughing and saying "I can't believe it". She was trying really hard to hurry and get this crazy crying lady out of the store. I should of just told her I had a baby, I have told the entire world now but that would have only added to the hysteria and confusion of the moment. Shane called me again just as I had gotten a hold of myself in the checkout and said "I just saw a picture of her". "She is amazing"... Yep, I began bawling again! I picked Morgan up from cheer practice and called Carter's school to let him know he now has a baby sister, I then sped home to open the e-mail and see for myself. Let me tell you this, I have never known that I could fall so deeply in love with a picture. She IS amazing and so incredibly beautiful. I love her and so does her entire family. I can't yet share her picture on this blog (not until we pass court) but imagine Morgan (my oldest) with darker skin...that's Grace. Seriously she looks like a little baby Morgan - chin, eyes, sass and beautiful lips! Her Ethiopian name is Damot but her American name will be Grace Damot McMillan. I do not know her social history yet but hope to know more about her in the next few weeks. I am eternally grateful for this gift and can't wait to share more of the joy of this experience with you. I will post later on an update given to my of Damot by someone who is picking up her child from Ethiopia and what I have found out about her name...

For now I send Grace Damot love and light and ask that you do the same!

Court Closures!

2009-07-29T14:11:00.001-07:00

It's been a long 2 plus weeks that we have not heard anything about the adoption or referral process. I called our coordinator yesterday and was told that there are finally children being prepared for referral (med. tests, family history, age etc...). She feels confident that a referral will be coming soon. For those of you wondering, a referral means that we actually find out who our new little "Grace" is. We then must wait for a court date to actually call her ours. With that being said, today IAN (International Adoption Net) posted to their blog that Ethiopian courts will close August 21st and reopen again late September. The courts close every year for rainy season. This does not mean much for us, they still give referrals and MOWA still passes paperwork for adoptive children, they just will not have a court date until after the courts re open. This is exciting to me because I thought that courts were closed until October and typically begin the closure in early August. The wait is hard but I just have to keep telling myself that it is so worth it! We keep praying for Grace to be watched over, safe and feel of our love...wherever she may be. I will keep the blog updated and hopefully post with a referral very soon!

Rainbow Bridge - Lake Powell 2009

2009-07-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out how to post a picture with a post. If I am not careful, I could spend hours on this blog trying to figure out how to do things...No change on the adoption list except that I heard that there will not be many referrals in the near future. Court is scheduled to close August first through October first for the rainy season. Referrals are still given but no court dates or travel dates are set. I am choosing to not get to impatient yet but the waiting process is not easy for me. I just pray that Grace is being well taken care of and will soon be in our lives. My friend that just adopted told me that when it's all over and you have that child in your arms it makes the wait worth it and you forget all about the frustration. That sounded a lot like being pregnant to me...I do know that it is in God's hands and out of mine!

Let the journey begin...

2009-07-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our blog. I am very new at this and thank my sister-in-law for finally assisting me with creating this blog. I have a lot to learn but wanted to create a blog as a way of keeping track of our adoption process as well as the many wonderful and amazing things my family experiences along the way.

We just returned from an amazing trip to Lake Powell. I will attempt to post some pictures of the trip after this blog post. It was such a wonderful bonding experience for my family. We had amazing weather and the beauty of our surroundings was to say the least breathtaking. We just purchased a boat along with some friends and at first I was leery of the idea but after this trip I am 100% on board and totally excited about the purchase. When we left for Lake Powell on the 4th of July, we were #3 on the toddler girl list and #3 on the infant girl list. As of today July 12th we have moved to #2 on the infant list and stayed at #3 on the toddler list. What does that all mean? Well, at the beginning of this process we were #10 on the toddler girl list and #16 on the infant girl list. We have slowly moved up the list and when at #1 (sometimes sooner) we will receive a referral (an actual face and name). Our homestudy is approved for a 12-36 month old girl so we will not get a child younger or older than that. Shane and I both agreed on that age prior to the entire adoption journey. The other deal that we made was that he would not have to change any dirty diapers. We'll see how long that lasts... It has been a bit challenging for me to be patient and I am sure it will become more so but I do know that it is all in God's hands and out of my control. So, for now I will leave you with that information and at a later time when my family is not waiting for me to eat, I will continue with the McMillan family adoption story...